Ultimate Reality

Years ago, I was in complete rebellion towards God. I spent several years in college consumed with parties, drugs and alcohol. At first these experiences were surreal and it felt as though I had escaped into another reality altogether. After a while it moved from what felt like a movie experience to a sort of super-reality. I felt as though I had been given a different perspective on life from the old one. Everything I saw was washed in newness as though I was a child again, seeing the world through fresh eyes where every experience was different and exciting.

For a time this continued and I even began to feel as though I had been shown some perspective on reality that was better than what I could normally see sober. I rationalized that being high was a way of stripping away the guise and seeing the world for what it truly was. I believed that I had been enlightened to the truth of the universe like never before.

Unfortunately this perspective became ordinary, and cold. What was once new and exciting had become little more than a shift in my vantage point on life. I was not witnessing some new reality through a heightened awareness, but the same old thing, only from a slightly different angle. As time wore on the similarities between the two perspectives became much more apparent. My new beautiful landscape had become dingy and grey, and for the first time it felt as though reality was staring back at me reflecting the real truth of what I had become.

In a twist of irony, just when I thought I had discovered some hidden truth in the world around me, reality dealt me a crushing defeat. Nothing was magical, nothing was different, nothing about the world had changed, and I was left with the sobering reality that there was no substance, no party, and no frivolous relationship that could change the world around me.

Enter Christ...

Through the glorious victory over sin in Christ Jesus, I now realize that ultimate reality is in knowing Christ, and serving Him. Jesus has shown me that there is a reality beyond that which I can see with my eyes, and feel with my hands. He has shown me that truth resides in the knowledge of a Holy God who became flesh that we might have triumph over the worldly lusts of the flesh. He is truth and His word is the only reality that matters. Christ is our rock of existence, and in the end all that will ever matter to us is our relationship with Him.

Through salvation in Christ Jesus we do not simply have some new perspective on reality, but reality itself, viewed from all angles simultaneously, beyond personal experience, across space and time to the heart of God in all His Glory forever. Amen.

God's Grace > Your Sin

In James we have a wonderful promise of wisdom from God if we simply ask for it.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. (Jam. 1:5)

The Bible is full of God's promises. There are promises of wrath against unbelieving disobedience (Deut. 11:16-17), and there are promises of great blessing for those who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ (Rom. 8:28). The amazing thing about the latter group of promises is that they are not based on personal merit or works (Eph. 2:8-9). Unfortunately it is easy to forget this. James goes on to define what a true request is in the verses following.

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (Jam. 1:6-8)

I used to think that these verses referred to someone who was so self absorbed that they only wanted wisdom from God in order to help them get ahead in life. It is true that these verses encompass that type of person; one who is vain and cares more about what God can give them, then what they can do to glorify God. However, there is another type of person here who is equally as self absorbed. I refer to the person who asks without believing that God can fulfil His promise because of their sin. I refer to what I have only just now realized that I have become.

It can be a great temptation of ours to focus on our own sin and wretchedness, and assume that God's grace is not sufficient to cover our transgressions. It is true that our sin is great, but it is also irrelevant. It is true that we are undeserving of God's grace and mercy, but equally as irrelevant. This is a sin of self-righteousness under the guise of humility.

My sin cannot, and will not ever outweigh the infinite Grace that was poured out on Calvary the day that Jesus was crucified. If I have truly been born again, then the price for the promises of God have already been paid for and I have but to ask faithfully to recieve them (John 16:24). Even times of chastisement from God for disobedience are a promise of blessing to Christians (Heb. 12:3-17).

Father God, grant us the wisdom to see you as we should see you. Do not allow us to regard our own hand mightier than yours, or our sin greater than your Grace. Create in us a single mind in our walk with you, focusing on the greatest promise of all that was secured for us by your son Jesus Christ.

Compromise And Cowardice, A Confession...

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. (James 1:14)

I am a coward! I say this because I know it in my heart to be true. I have faltered in my walk with Christ. For some time now my outward appearance, and my actions have been "moral", but my spiritual life has been pathetic. I have compromised the sacredness of the glorious gift of my salvation by giving my time and attention over to worldly pursuits. The time I have spent in the Word is shameful, and I spend most of my prayer life apologizing to God for my lack of spiritual leadership in the home.

I started with that particular verse because it reminds me of my cowardice to admit my sins. I know I have faced some difficult times emotionally, but at the end of the day I have only myself to blame for my lackadaisical attitude towards Christ. I have spent months disgusted with myself because of this behavior, and I have cried out to God for help. However, I have been lazy, obstinate, and disobedient in my response to His Holy Spirit.

I have been so lazy that I didn't post last week, or this week. I am a coward because rather than expose myself to my trusted friends, I simply chose to avoid the situation. I started this Blog because I wanted it to be about accountability and integrity, but I am a hypocrite. I write now to confess my sins before the group that I might ask their forgiveness in the matter, and that I might receive their prayers.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16)

Pray that I would put away worldly, meaningless distractions. Pray that I would be unashamed in my Biblical studies (2 Tim 2:15). Pray that I would become the spiritual leader of my family that I am called to by God (Eph 5). Pray that I would allow the Spirit of Christ to consume me in all aspects of my life.